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Wednesday, 21 December 2011

A Letter to Mom

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Maria

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! 
Call when it is safe for me to come home.

9 comments:

  1. Good lord! When i started reading this letter..at every next line I thought.."Ooh..this girl is in soo much trouble!"..and her story kept getting more and more unbelievable..and I was like elpoing with a boyfriend at 15 is bad enough and now you say that he has AIDS?!! Woah! I can imagine what the mother went through while reading this "</3"..but must say..smart kid :P

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  2. this is such a funny letter!!!

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  3. Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house.
    Hahaha

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  4. Omg my heart drop to the floor. I would bet her. Lol not really

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  5. Hope your mom not get heart attack before read your "PS"

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  6. Hope your mom not get heart attack before read your PS message

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  7. You smart brat. haha

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