I just lost someone i love most and til' now i just can't stop thinking abt him. his a gud guy but he made his choice. i wish i could stop him frm going. :'(

It seems that I'm a stupid girl! Every time I fall for the right guy, but not the right guy for me! How ironic! My love is always one-sided since the one I love belongs to someone else or ... Maybe it is because I was hurt when I was 13, since then, I can never fall for any boys about my age anymore. To make matter worse, I fall for men who are 20 years older than me. The first man I loved was my english teacher. Wow, when I first saw him, he was much taller than me and I felt small. But everything he said made me laugh and I couldnt remember one day that I smiled that much. But later I realize that he was married. And you know what! One-sided love is the most difficult to give up. And I was haunted by that hopeless love for more than 5 years. When I was in 10th grade, I was so desperate that I killed myself, fortunately that I didnt succeed. You know? When I was in the hospital, every moment I hoped that I could see him walking by the door and smiled at me. But he never showed up, which was not a surprise. Maybe I would have still chased after that love if I hadnt met this man. He was one of my professor. He is charming and funny. He talked a lot and always had funny stories to tell us. But those werent the reasons why I liked him. One day, I presented in front of class, however the original idea was not mine. But he appreciated my presentation and wanted me to help him out with it and do an interview. Well, since the idea wasnt mine, I was so nervous and decided to tell him the truth. I remembered the moment when he lower his head so he could hear what I said while he was still trying to make his tie. I was scared to death that I couldnt say anything clearly. But at the same time, deep down in my heart, I felt safe and kind of peaceful. And that was the moment that I didnt want to loose him. But I was always stuck with misfortune. He only taught us for 2 weeks and then I couldnt see him again. I tried to appreciate the days left. Every day, I prepared a box of fresh fruit for him as he was so tired giving lecture all day. I enjoyed the moment watching him enjoy the fruit happily. On his last day, I made a kind of lucky cake and wished him all good luck. I was brave enough to ask if I could email him. And he say I could. I was so happy that at least I could become a good friend to him. Then after he had gone, so many things happened. I was wondering if he was gay. Then he didnt reply my emails. And I dont know what to think right now. Maybe my from-bottom-of-the-heart emails are directed into "spam". Although my self-esteem is hurt and I feel so pathetic and sorry for myself, I cannot give him up. I have to admit that finding someone you love who also loves you is the most wonderful and also difficult thing in this world. I just wish that my love were not so unfortunate. I guess that I'm not good and lucky enough to have that two-sided love. :(

I fell in love with a guy who felt the same way about someone else. It hurts everyday when i see him with his girlfriend and i must say it sucks!!! But he is too in love with her to see that she's messing with him, yeah i cry over it, but soon I'll have to move on. it has been about 4 years, we are sorta best friends.........but when it comes to his gf he gets all hyper, she broke his heart numerous times before yet he seems to forget it all in a split second. I was always there for him, and always supported him in every way possible yet he also seems to forget that and take advantage of me as she does to him. YET I STILL LOVE HIM :(